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2007/08/14
The Zahir - Paulo Coelho
"I have a wife whom I love, but I don't always remember that and find myself asking: What's wrong with me?
It's good that you're able to recognize that, but I don't think there's anything wrong with you or with me, because I ask myself the same question. What's wrong is the way in which we show our love now. If we were to accept that this creates problems, we could live with those problems and be happy. It would be a constant battle, but it would at least keep us active, alive and cheerful, with many universes to conquer; the trouble is we're heading towards a point where things are becoming too comfortable, where love stops creating problems and confrontations and becomes instead merely a solution.
What's wrong with that?
Everything. I can no longer feel the energy of love, what people call passion, flowing through my flesh and through my soul.
Left? Does every marriage have to end like this, with passion giving way to something people call "a mature relationship"? I need you. I miss you. Sometimes I'm jealous.... But there's a lack of joy.
No, there isn't. Whenever you're far away, I wish you were near. I imagine the conversations we'll have when you or I come back from a trip. I phone you to make sure everything's all right. I need to hear your voice every day. I'm still passionate about you, I can guarantee you that.
It's the same with me, but what happens when we're together? We argue, we quarrel over nothing, one of us wants to change the other, to impose his or her view of reality. You demand things on me that makes no sense at all, and I do the same. Sometimes, in the silence of our hearts, we say to ourselves: How good it would be to be free, to have no commitments."